THE SECRET LIFE OF THE HOLIDAY RESORT, C4, 8pm
ANYONE with access to the internet will already have an opinion about the type of holiday resort we see in this documentary.

You’ll have seen Facebook pics of lobster-red people doing the conga, heard of children fighting over inflatable dolphins, and seen angry posts about the lack of sleep because of the 19-strong hen party in the room above.

So while you might already wince at the idea of jetting off to one of these corrals, it’s still a horrible pleasure to watch others booze, squabble and sizzle.

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Cameras go inside the Holiday World resort in Malaga and it’s strange how the TV quickly starts to smell of warm beer and sticky pink cocktails. I wonder how that special effect was achieved.

I think the programme is supposed to be jolly but — my God — a holiday to Chernobyl would be preferable.

DEAD BEAUTIFUL, ALL4

THIS is another new foreign drama from the Walter Presents strand, and it has saved you from having to read my preview of Funniest Ever Puppy Party (C5, 8pm), which was my second choice for this slot.

With a title sounding like a bargain bucket crime novel, this new series comes from France and is about the usual old chestnut: the hunt for a crazed serial killer who’s murdering women.

The Paris police are conducting the investigation but the lead detective, Martin, finds that his complicated love life is getting in the way. His lover puts the case at risk, and then his ex pops up with some accidental clues as to who the culprit might be.

It appears the serial killer is working to a plan. Can the police discover what it is, and so predict his next move?