GRAND TOURS OF SCOTLAND’S LOCHS, BBC1, 7.30pm

I HAVEN’T been on holiday this year. No wait! I suppose I have, but it was in Scotland, in a wee lodge in Dumfries and Galloway. Does that count?

Of course it does, yet I still get the feeling that I haven’t properly been “on holiday” unless I leave the country. But our break in good ole D&G had sun, beaches, wine, a balcony … I even got the tiniest flush of colour on my arms.

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This series helps shift the daft feeling that Scotland isn’t a holiday destination for Scots, and it does that by striking you speechless with lovely scenery, and wonderful wee stories about the areas visited.

Tonight we’re seeing the lochs of the central belt, and we start with the Lake of Menteith, moving on to the lochs of Ard, Arklet, Achray, and the famous Katrine that gives Glasgow its drinking water.

There’s also a visit to Ben Venue: a mountain I’d never even heard of. Clearly I need more holidays at home.

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM, SKY ATLANTIC, 10pm

WHEN a beloved sitcom returns for a new series there’s always a frisson of fear: what if it has changed? What if they’ve “lost it”?

I had such worries for Curb Your Enthusiasm, particularly as it had been eight years since the last series. It was also re-emerging into a world stuffed with millennials and their demand for “safe spaces” and “trigger warnings” and where “no platforming” is inexplicably something to be proud of. How could an idolatrous sitcom like Curb Your Enthusiasm continue to flourish in such a world? Will they have bowed to the deadening fashions and curbed themselves?

No! In fact they were even more offensive than usual, having Larry aggravate Islam, parakeets and lesbians, all in one episode.

Tonight he wonders if he should sell the house so he can hide from the Ayatollah, but Leon refuses to budge as all his “ladies” know the address. His love life will be set back by three years if he has to move.