THE APPRENTICE, BBC1, 9pm

EVERY week it seems obvious that Liz should be sacked, and every week I confidently predict that it won’t happen because this show is more about entertainment than securing a slick business deal for Lord Sugar – and the mad Liz is brilliant entertainment.

Perhaps the other candidates have cottoned on to the fact that eccentricity and being an awkward, irritating sort gives you some kind of immunity to being fired, as they’re all certainly trying to be daft and prickly, but no-one carries it off quite like Liz.

This week offers plenty of opportunity for absurd behaviour as we enter the glamorous and achingly judgemental world of fashion. The candidates must become “fashion agents” and try to flog some clothes from up and coming young designers. They need to put on a catwalk show for their chosen – and wary – designer and also create a magazine cover to showcase the garments. Get ready to cringe.

SCOT SQUAD, BBC1, 10.40pm

CAMERON Miekelson says, “Once a radge, always a radge” – but is that always true, or should some wee bams be given a second chance? Yes, we kick off with some philosophy tonight.

Elsewhere, PC Hugh McKirdy spills a packet of Bombay Mix all over the car. A quick trip to the valet service will sort out the mess, but not when the garage is stuffed with criminals and illegal immigrants who all scarper at the first sight of a police car. “Ah, come oan!” moan the cops, realising that, yet again, they’ll need to clean their own car.

And Officer Karen has been trying online dating because it’s hard to meet someone with her unsociable working hours. But Tinder has matched her with Bobby and he’s terrified of the consequences of giving her a knock back. Strangely, no-one has been dating Bobby. He’s sure it’s because his phone’s broken and not because his dating profile says that if they go out “I need to be back by half nine cos Uncle Jeffy needs a bath.”