Weekend television highlights

HOW TO MAKE A NUMBER ONE RECORD, BBC4, 9pm

PERHAPS you’re wondering exactly what it takes to create a hit number one record. You might marvel at all the creativity, boldness and technical wizardry that’s required – and then you’ll realise that, these days, that’s all largely redundant. All that’s needed is to win The X Factor. Magic and talent no longer play a part.

Well, that was my miserable, cynical view but this documentary proved me wrong, showing that, for most singers, a bit of hard work and skill is still required.

The programme looks at the factors which need to combine before a record has a chance of hitting the top spot, and it takes us back through pop history to look at some of the classics, and the stories behind their success. We also have contributions from singers who got that elusive number one record, such as Noddy Holder and Carol Decker of T’Pau. Bruno Brookes also features, to tell us what happens behind the scenes when records, and artists, are being made. Made, and then quickly forgotten, as Joe McElderry can attest. Who? Exactly. Just another forgotten X Factor winner.

WEEKEND ESCAPES WITH WARWICK DAVIS, STV, 8pm

SURELY TV travel shows have visited every corner of the Earth, but have they visited the Midlands?

In this odd new series, Warwick Davis takes his family on holiday to some rather unappealing places in Britain, the idea being that his reduced height, and that of his family, will provide some madcap comic moments, making us see these drab towns in a new light.

In this first episode, the family go to the Midlands, stopping off in the Peak District to learn about mountain rescue. Despite Davis’s recent documentary about wanting to give short actors a chance at playing straight dramatic roles, this programme shamelessly exploits his reduced height for comic effect. I wonder what his fellow actors, battling to be taken seriously, think of his antics.

We see Davis struggle to climb an obstacle course, then he takes part in a mock rescue out on the hills, all the while struggling and puffing. Naturally, he also gets dressed up in historical costume when the family go on to the Black Country Living Museum and then it’s onward to a vacuum cleaner museum.

It’s at this point we realise why the Midlands is not a sparkly tourist destination.

Tomorrow (Saturday, April 18)

JANE EYRE, BBC2, 8.30pm

CIARAN Hinds has been in the news recently, following his onscreen fiery death in Game Of Thrones and the news that he’s to join the second series of the BBC’s Shetland. Despite his impressive acting credits, Ciaran Hinds is best known to me for his role as Mr Rochester in a 1997 ITV production of Jane Eyre. He’s the only actor who has ever captured sulky, arrogant, proud Rochester to perfection.

Unfortunately, this broadcast is a different version of Jane Eyre, with Michael Fassbender playing Mr Rochester, but it’s still worth watching.

Based on Charlotte Bronte’s magnificent novel, it tells the story of Jane, an orphan who’s treated terribly by her aunt and even worse in the harsh religious school she’s sent to. When she reaches 18, she’s free to escape and make her own life, finding a job as governess to a little French girl in the bleak and isolated Thornfield Hall. The house is owned by the mysterious Mr Rochester who is never at home, so who is it that Jane hears wandering the corridors at night?

What a magnificent story it is – though I still urge you to seek out the Ciaran Hinds performance. He’s the only Rochester for me!

SILICON VALLEY, SKY ATLANTIC, 10.35pm

THERE was never really a buzz surrounding this comedy series, which always seemed to me unfair given that it’s brilliant, satirical and really quite clever.

Sky Atlantic is repeating the first half of the series in anticipation of its resumption after a mid-season break, so here’s your chance to get acquainted with it.

Perhaps its premise puts some people off: it’s about a bunch of young geeky guys living in California who’re trying to make their name in the tech world. Admittedly, there are some jokes which go whooshing over my head as I know nothing about computers except how to Google something and how to start up Word documents. So, tech geeks will get 100 per cent of the comedy, but the rest of us can still have a fine old time with the remaining 90 per cent.

The main character is Richard, a terribly anxious boy who’s about to make millions through an algorithm he’s invented called Pied Piper. The comedy comes from the awkward geeks trying to make their way in the hip, pretentious world of Silicon Valley, a world of trendy billionaires, nervous nerds and soulless desperadoes.

THE WORLD’S MOST EXTREME, C4, 8pm

THE title of this series might make you think it rightfully belongs on Channel 5 or maybe Discovery, yet this is Channel 4, a station from which we can normally expect things either thoughtful or controversial. This episode looks at the world’s most extreme bridges, so we’re probably wondering how a programme on bridges can be either controversial or thoughtful? Aren’t bridges just bridges? Just spans of steel thrown across rivers?

This series goes around the world to dangerous or exciting places, and this week it is devoted to 10 of the world’s scariest bridges. Bridges can be “extreme”, you know. It looks at the George Washington Bridge in New York where workers have to climb out to carefully string some lightbulbs, and we visit a terrifying rickety wooden bridge in Russia, where you have to knock back some vodka shots just to muster the courage to set a trembling foot on it.

Most frightening of all is the awesome Millau Viaduct in the south of France. It’s the world’s highest bridge, meaning it attracts daredevil (or just plain stupid) base-jumpers who like to throw themselves from it. There must be safer ways to get your kicks.

Sunday (April 19)

HUNTERS OF THE SOUTH SEAS, BBC2, 9pm

THE current trend for travel documentaries is to explore versions of either wilderness or paradise. STV is giving us Griff Rhys Jones going through Africa by train and Channel 4 recently had India by motorbike, both of which involved journeying through vast, deserted stretches of country. The BBC is turning more to sun-kissed paradise, having just finished a Caribbean series and now here they are again with Hunters of the South Seas where a presenter is packed off to rough it with the locals but, of course, roughing it in the sun, on an idyllic beach, watching a few glorious sunsets.

I’d far rather forget the wilderness versus paradise angle and see some cities. Isn’t that where great reserves of energy, culture and civilisation are to be found? Is it considered, these days, a bit too “Judith Chalmers” to go into Florence or Madrid?

Well, here we are with more sun and sand. It’s a new series exploring The Coral Triangle in the Pacific and meeting the local hunters and fishermen of the Bajau tribe, and watching how they manage to catch fish with spears. They don’t need rods and reels like us softy Westerners.

POLDARK, BBC1, 9pm

WITH only two more episodes to go before the series ends, Ross Poldark finds himself battling harder than ever to keep his business operating with evil, sleek George Warleggan determined to stamp it out and regain his stranglehold over the community. Warleggan is a banker, and we know they’re hardly renowned for being fair and decent. He uses his financial clout to outbid Poldark for all the copper available in the vicinity, pushing our hero further into trouble, and he can’t look to his wealthy cousin for support given that Francis has lost most of his money and is becoming increasingly sullen and bitter.

Verity’s relationship with the old sea dog, Captain Blamey, causes yet more problems and Warleggan uses it to push the two cousins even deeper into animosity.

Already I’m looking forward to next week’s final episode where the smouldering tensions between the two cousins will surely catch a spark and blaze up.

MADNESS IN THE DESERT, BBC4, 10.55pm

THIS documentary tells the gritty, sandy, muddy story of the infamous Paris to Dakar rally. Think of it as a massive endurance test and obstacle course for cars, motorcycles and lorries – all powered by fearless, gung-ho drivers who have to battle their way across sand dunes, rocks, grassland and mud. Of course, beside the daredevil aspect is the fact that the rally has claimed several lives.

The programme traces the history of the rally, looking at its creator, Thierry Sabine, a motorcyclist who got lost in the desert and began pondering what a fantastic route the place would be for a rally. I suppose he had to pass the time somehow. Controversies follow, with more than 60 rally competitors being killed and there was criticism from some African countries who objected to the procession of rich men on growling vehicles tearing through their villages.

Finally, the rally was forced to leave Africa, when terrorist threats meant it had to be switched to South America.

FOR THE LOVE OF CARS, C4, 8pm

SO the other channels rear their heads, ready to pounce on the heart-broken, dazed Top Gear fans. ITV is already working on a new panel show based on motoring, and here’s Channel 4 with a new series of For The Love Of Cars, presented by the cool dude Philip Glenister, the man who’s hotly tipped to be replacing Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear. But for now, he’s heading Channel 4’s offering to the displaced petrolheads of BBC2.

Glenister is paired with Ant Anstead, a car designer, and they go off around the country to poke their heads into garages and barns, finding old classic cars in disrepair which they lovingly restore. In this episode they coo and swoon over an Aston Martin DBS, as driven by George Lazenby in his Bond days. They spend 10 weeks restoring it before it’s taken to be flogged at auction for a startling price.

Then it’s time for a bit of relaxation as Glenister washes his hands and gets a chance to drive the same Aston Martin Roger Moore drove in The Persuaders.

PERSPECTIVES, STV, 10.15pm

THIS popular series returns on Sunday night, where a famous person offers their view on an issue which fascinates them. As the title suggests, they merely offer a different perspective on the issue, they’re not trying to claim an authority because they have a famous face.

Tonight’s episode is led by Ashley Banjo, though it’s questionable whether he counts as being “famous”. I had to google him and found out he’s the leader of the street dance crew, Diversity, who won Britain’s Got Talent.

Banjo’s topic of choice is the weird world of Michael Jackson, and he heads to America to meet the engineers, musicians, choreographers and directors who worked on it and on Thriller’s famous dance scenes, about which Banjo himself has plenty to contribute.