I KNEW Jo Cox, but I wish time and circumstance would have allowed me to get to know her better.

We’d say hello in the MPs’ tearoom or when we bumped into each other at events in Parliament. But it terrifies me that this friendly and formidable woman’s life was taken whilst championing the same issues and causes that unite MPs on the SNP benches and across the Chamber. I sat in the House of Commons and watched as she stood up for the protection of Syrian refugees, and spoke passionately about her support for the WASPI campaign for fair pensions and, only a fortnight ago, our paths crossed again at a debate in Westminster Hall on the UK’s arms sales to Saudi Arabia.

With this in mind, it’s been an absolutely horrific experience watching the rolling TV coverage of her death and its aftermath over the past week. While the many warm tributes paid to her life and work, and the brave, inspirational words and actions of her husband have pierced the gloom, there has been no way to avoid or detract from the tragedy that has unfolded before us.

As I think about Jo Cox, I want to pull my family close and reassure them that everything will be OK. But what should I say to them when they ask me, as they did this week, if I’m all right and if I’m definitely going to come home every night?

Of course we can put stronger locks on office doors and at home or reduce the information we give out in advance of MP’s constituency surgeries and our public engagements.

Alternatively, we could withdraw to a fortified Palace of Westminster behind its armed guards and security checkpoints. But how on earth would our politics function for the good of the country at large if our public servants are forced to cower in the shadows rather than leading from the front?

I’ve also witnessed the effect of the current poisonous political environment on my own family, who have been both disturbed and frightened by the range of racist, sexually explicit and violent messages I’ve received by phone, mail and through social media since my election. While the police and prosecution services have worked professionally in pursuing those who have clearly broken the law, in reality these cases have been the tip of the iceberg.

I know that there are many Members of Parliament and the Scottish Parliament who have faced similar frightening situations. There is a bubbling, malevolent undercurrent of intolerance in our society today, and we must publicly address how this manifests itself on social media in particular.

I know that even as I write that addressing this subject will only invite more bile and abuse tomorrow, but I refuse to shirk the responsibility that I sought at the ballot box last year.

So I cannot, I will not, be cowed by the murderous actions of extremists and racists.

But what we must all do together is reflect on the atmosphere that has been created around the current debate on our membership of the EU, and around politics more widely in recent weeks and months.

It would be another tragedy if we were to carry on as we were before, without looking to build a thoughtful legacy for this strong, compassionate woman.

Those of us in public life have a responsibility to show leadership in the pursuit of a better politics. Disagreement on important issues is fundamentally important to our democracy, but it’s incumbent on us to do so in a way which doesn’t damage the fabric of our communities or give credence to the extreme views of those on the margins.

Nigel Farage’s despicable poster of thousands of refugees fleeing conflict to find a safer life was a vile example of how politicians have crossed the line from disagreement to incitement. The fact that it was withdrawn by Ukip following the death of Jo Cox is proof that even Ukip accept that this time they have gone too far.

Once this week’s referendum is over, and no matter the result, we need to reflect on the way in which we carry out our public discourse. As I’ve said may times before in this column, the words we use matter.

The dispiriting sight of two negatively charged and factually challenged campaigns led by different wings of the Tory Party should be a catalyst for positive change.

I agree that we’ve all made mistakes in the past when it comes to knocking down others rather than building solutions, but surely now is the time to change.

Imagine the power of a positive political system which spent its time creating partnerships and coalitions rather than sowing the seeds of division.

Now that would be a legacy that I’m sure Jo Cox would be proud of.