Dear Angry,

My dad, a passionate supporter of Scottish independence, is also going to vote to leave the European Union. I don’t necessarily have a problem with this. However, he won’t shut up about it. He ruined a Eurovision party by yelling over all the songs and droning on about unelected figureheads and corrupt central banks. What should I do?

Stephanie, Glasgow

STEPH, it’s really tragic to hear about your predicament. The Brexit brigade’s overbearing enthusiasm is enough to make even a libertarian consider voting Remain. Shouting over everyone in politics is bad enough, but shouting over Eurovision is even worse! After all, it’s a well-known fact that Nigel Farage only wants to leave the EU because he’s never been asked to represent his beloved Britain at the song contest. Of course, instead of acknowledging his own inability to croon, Farage has chosen to blame immigration and foreigners, which is pretty reprehensible. But then, what else can we expect of a man who looks like the consequence of a drunken liaison between Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy?

The only ray of sunshine in your story is that your father appears to have latched onto valid arguments. However, these rational sentiments have largely been drowned out in the tidal wave of xenophobia that has swept over the Brexit campaign. Leave’s recent nautical escapades on the River Thames were supposed to lend a voice to disenfranchised fishermen. However, the presence of Ukip politicians and anti-immigration trolls meant the whole thing was largely dismissed as a flotilla of fudricks. Certainly, nothing has encapsulated the futility of this referendum quite like Bob Geldof and Nigel Farage yelling at each other’s boats.

Your father’s ranting may cease once the votes are counted and our country decides what it thinks of the EU once and for all. That said, Scotland is not exactly renowned for accepting and moving on from referendum results, so the end of this campaign may only be the start of your problems. With this in mind, I’d encourage you to refocus your father’s attention to the vastly more important issue of an independent Scotland’s Eurovision entry. As things stand, Scotland is unable to enter the song contest as a self-governing nation. I’m sure that your father will share my anger and indignation at this. I mean, can you imagine the Tartan Army at Eurovision? They’d need to create new awards just for us! But for as long as Scotland remains in Britain, we will never fulfil our destiny of winning Eurovision. Thus, your dad should consider the fact that Scotland voting Remain and England voting Leave could expedite our nation’s ability to do what it does best abroad – get drunk, grab a mic and belt out cheesy pop music to entertain the masses!

Dear Angry,

My dad wants to remain in the European Union but he has shown zero interest in campaigning for it. What’s up with him?

Cameron, Aberdeen

YOUR father is certainly not alone in his lack of get up and go. In fact, contrasting the fanatical nature of the Scottish Parliamentary election with this low-spirited referendum is quite startling. Going by the lack of significant action on the ground, it appears that Scottish political parties exhausted their campaign resources in their quest for seats at Holyrood. Worse yet, the military precision with which some of those campaigns were fought may have had further unintended consequences for the EU plebiscite.

After all, the trouble with politicians bandying about terms like “mobilising the troops” during elections is that it inadvertently teaches said troops not to mobilise unless ordered to do so. Throughout the Both Votes era, party members were whipped into a fire-breathing, leafleting frenzy, and yet those same political soldiers have been comparatively inactive during the EU debate. Your father, rather than taking action himself, may be awaiting governmental instructions that detail canvassing locations and fashionable rhetoric.

I find this all rather strange given that the Scottish independence referendum was largely fuelled by impulsive, grassroots mutineers. Sadly, it seems this penchant for spontaneous righteousness has given way to top down inertia.

Which is pretty troubling given the fact that support for Brexit has grown in Scotland over the last few months, while the numbers in favour of Remain have consistently fallen. Should the Scottish Leave campaign achieve even 45 per cent of the vote, the SNP’s own logic would require them to be acknowledged as a flourishing political movement.

Moreover, the Scottish Government consider the EU integral to our nation’s independence, and have made that publicly known. If they’re shown to have misread their people’s views on the EU, the consequences for indyref2 could be disastrous. With that in mind, I would advise you to do everything you can to encourage your father to not only vote but get out there and do some last minute campaigning – even if it means altering an old “Both Votes SNP” pamphlet to make it look like Nicola Sturgeon told him to do so.

Got a question for Angry? Send them in to letters@thenational.scot and he’ll sort out your problems