NEW Cumnock Burns Club hud oor annual Scots Verse Nicht last Friday. Lik mony ither Burns clubs we hae a brek throu the simmer months, then foregaither aince agane as the hairst approaches.

Tradeetionally, tae kick aff oor annual syllabus we hae oor Scots Verse Nicht at the back end o September. Thus, last Friday the club met up at the hospitality suite o wir local junior fitba team Glenafton Athletic’s club rooms. Turn oot fir this wee event is ne’er that great, aiblins 20 tae 30 fowk, either commatte memmers or friens o the club turn up an aa are encouraged tae bring a poem or a bit sang wi thaim. E’en tho the company wis “select” they aa rose tae the occasion an maist aabody contributit tae the oangauns bi readin, singin or entertainin the company wi a story an some banter.

Ah daur say these kindae nichts are a thing nou that are swipper disappearin intae Scotland’s misty past. Nae dout folk clubs keep these tradeetions alive but e’en they arenae as numerous as they aince wir. Mind you, we hae a new folk club in New Cumnock, rin bi lad-o-pairts Geoff Crolley, that haes raicently goat itsel aff the grund an appears tae be makkin a go o it.

Sic nichts hark back tae times when fowk didnae hae the luxury o muckle digital TV screens an couples still went oot at weekends, especially in mining villages lik New Cumnock, tae gang tae pubs an social clubs; working men’s or boolin greens (baith o whilk we still hae in New Cumnock). Bein middle-aged masel ah hae mind the late 1970s, early 80s, when there wis great rivalry atween aa the clubs in the village an they wid hae “go as ye please” nichts whaur the audience wid vote fir teams o singers frae each club an michty contests an rivalries wid arise. Sae this wee nicht o the Burns Club’s is aiblins the lest dwaiblie lowe o somethin that mony fowk nou micht view as bein frae anither age.

But, it’s a great wee nicht.

The Scots Verse Nicht aiblins epitomises something that is gaein wrang in oor societies, ie as human beings we dinnae speik til ane anither or socialise in the weys that we aince did. Nichts lik this, rerr tho they be, unnerscore the maist important thing in oor society – the sheer joy tae be hud in sharin a “richt guid nicht” wi yer bosom friens an cronies. Ye’d be haurd pressed tae fuin a better wey tae spend an evenin!

Poems wir read bi the worthies praisent at the ongauns; Wullie Waugh (retired shepherd an braw reciter) gien us some o the humorous warks o Hugh J Waters. Couthie aye, but weel written an they aye-an-oan mak ye smile. Ma brither Jim read some o the late Johnny Templeton’s radical poems – written in guid Ayrshire Scots. – an it wis guid tae hear Johnny’s voice (wha dee’d tragically young at 52 a year syne) an his unique poetry agane

Raymond Kerr, frae Sanquhar, read some o his ain original pieces, ane o which wis a hilarious parody o Hilaire Belloc, that hud the company lauchin oot lood. We alsae hud a New Cumnock version/parody o Bruce Springsteen’s My Home Town sung bi Wullie Dick – curiously keepin alive an auncient tradeetion whaurby auld sangs are re-imagined/re-inventit jist as Burns wid hae duin himsel. Colin McNally gien us a braw hauntle o airs oan the fiddle – an young Chalky Wight sang some guid “come all ye” sangs that aabody jined in wi.

We hud a musical turn as weel wi the braw tradeetional singer Davie Hunter frae Girvan an his luvely musical pairtner Beatrice Clark, wha favoured the company wi a wheen o Burns songs an ither excellent folk songs frae a braid repertoire. They tae are keepin alive the flame o oor rich an diverse Scottish culture o sang an poetry.

Ane o oor club’s stars an a rael worthie, current president Ian “Budgie” Burgoyne, a retired plumber (an a man wha’s gien a lifetime o faithful service tae the Scouting movement) goat up an gien us ane o his great pairty pieces – The Plumbers and the Jiners! Agane in the tradeetion o popular folk song this is a bawdy classic (written bi Watt Nicoll) that desairves a popular resurrection! Here’s jist a wee swatch o it’s risqué lyrics!

Long time ago and never forgot

A public toilet was a penny in the slot

Its 10p now and that price goes

For a wee or a fart or to powder your nose.

How they tittered, how they chaffed

How the plumbers and the joiners laughed

When they saw that young girl jammed

Like a plug, in the seat of a lavat’ry pan

The “heroine” o this song cams tae a rather embarrassin end as ye can read here:

A large crowd gaithered as they cairried her by

Face doon on a stretcher wi’ her erse tae the sky

“I’ve never seen the likes,” one woman exclaimed

“I have” said her husband, but it’s never been framed!

Ithers, including masel, jined in wi the nicht’s sangs an clatter; we’d poems bi Paul Muldoon, Tom Leonard, Alistair Findlay an ither great Scots poets past an praisent. Doug McKenzie read a short but prescient new piece bi Jim Monaghan anent Kezia Dugdale’s ongaun “flip-floppery”!

Kez Poem

Aye, that’s whit ah think,

that one, I think that too.

Did ah? say the opposite?

Well ah’ve changed ma mind noo.

Why? Jist because, ah huv,

whit’s it maitter tae you?

Look! stoap askin me questions,

is this some trick yer tryin to do?

I can fondly guarantee

that ah huvnae got a clue

mibbee.

Wunnerfu stuff. Oor Scots Verse Nicht drew tae a close an aabody taen the road that pleased best theirsels. Nae dout we’ll hae a moan an a greet agane anent the nicht’s puir turn oot at oor neist club meetin as usual – an nae dout we’ll resolve tae meet agane some ither nicht an dae it aa agane neist year. Mind, it’s the last Friday in September! Come an jine us – an bring a poem!

Rab Wilson is a Scot poet and health campaigner