ROSS KEMP BEHIND BARS: INSIDE BARLINNIE, STV, 9pm
LOCALS call it “the big hoose”, says Kemp, and it can’t help but sound funny in his Essex accent.
Admittedly there is a streak of humour in this programme which sees hard-man Ross Kemp go inside Barlinnie for 10 days where he’ll be locked in a cell and treated exactly like the other inmates – including being asked to drop his shorts for an inspection when he first enters the prison.
As he swaggers across the grounds in his orange tracksuit, we can hear the cons jeering at him from their barred windows.
How will the Glasgow boys react to me, he asks, an Essex lad? Being an Essex lad has nothing to do with it, surely? It’ll be the fact that you’re “Grant Mitchell from EastEnders” that’ll get the slaggings going.
In the “the bear pit”, he meets convicts and hears of their life in this notorious jail and asks whether it exists to punish its inhabitants, rehabilitate them or simply keep them off the streets.
LIVING THE DREAM, SKY1, 9pm
IF you don’t fancy a damp cell in Barlinnie then tune into Sky1 instead where you’ll get to sample the Florida sunshine.
This is a new six-part comedy drama starring Philip Glenister and Lesley Sharp. They play a couple, the Pembertons, from drizzly Yorkshire who pack their bags and set off for a new life in the US. You know already that things will not turn out as they’d hoped. A life filled with sunshine, Disney and freshly-squeezed orange juice is strictly for the holiday brochures, not real life.
They’ve invested their money in something you certainly don’t see in the tourist’s dream of Florida: a grubby trailer park.
They try to enjoy their new American life, but the pesky residents from the rundown park keep badgering them with their problems. They may as well have stayed in Yorkshire; at least there were no alligators there.
Why are you making commenting on The National only available to subscribers?
We know there are thousands of National readers who want to debate, argue and go back and forth in the comments section of our stories. We’ve got the most informed readers in Scotland, asking each other the big questions about the future of our country.
Unfortunately, though, these important debates are being spoiled by a vocal minority of trolls who aren’t really interested in the issues, try to derail the conversations, register under fake names, and post vile abuse.
So that’s why we’ve decided to make the ability to comment only available to our paying subscribers. That way, all the trolls who post abuse on our website will have to pay if they want to join the debate – and risk a permanent ban from the account that they subscribe with.
The conversation will go back to what it should be about – people who care passionately about the issues, but disagree constructively on what we should do about them. Let’s get that debate started!
Callum Baird, Editor of The National
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules here