PERHAPS we’ll never know if Donald Trump knew about Fifa’s decision to award the 2026 World Cup to the US during his summit with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un. The Diary’s sources at Singapore for the meeting between the two delusional super-powers however are already hearing that the wee North Korean dictator was looking very pleased with himself following the meeting.

Apparently he was told by Trump that he would personally guarantee North Korea’s participation at 2026. An unofficial transcript of the meeting, made by North Korean aides, has been leaked to The Diary.

Kim: “Mr President, as you know North Korea have won the World Cup a record six times.”

Trump: “That’s a truly wonderful achievement; we have a great basketball team too.”

The National:

“We feel that our mighty and honourable team who bring great dignity and glory to the sovereign state of North Korea should not have to qualify.”

“Leave it with me, Kim. My friends in the Russian analytical community have got some very interesting videos of these soccer chiefs when we were bribing them in Los Angeles.”

“You are very wise and full of sagacity, Mr President. Here is a gift for you.”

“What is it?”

“It is a DVD of North Korea defeating Brazil 7-1 in the 1968 World Cup final.”

By 2026 Trump’s wall to keep illegal Mexicans out of the US will have been built. This will provide another diplomatic dilemma for Trump: how can he prevent Mexicans attending a World Cup they’re helping host?

My sources are reporting that the president has emerged with a cunning plan hatched by his former chief advisor, Eamonn Bannon. Basically, it involves building new stadiums all along the Mexican border for games involving Mexico and housing their fans in the south stand.

Quarters easy? Please...

ENGLAND’S first game of the World Cup is still five days away and already the hubris and sense of entitlement is beginning to gather pace. 

Yesterday morning the fine English women’s footballer Alex King was asked to comment on England’s low-key approach to the tournament on the Victoria Derbyshire show. Derbyshire had noticed that this year England were travelling with more “realistic expectations”. King was having none of this though. 

The National:

Within seconds she was discussing a last-eight meeting with Brazil or Germany having qualified with two wins in their opening two games and a last-16 win over Columbia or Poland, a team possessing Robert Lewandowski, one of the world’s most lethal strikers. 

Historical note: England haven’t won a World Cup knock-out game for 12 years when they edged past Ecuador.

Scottish writer uncovers fascinating ‘black bands’ history

WHERE have all those naifs who say that football and politics shouldn’t mix been for the last 60 years? 

One of the most egregious examples of this was the 1978 tournament which was used as a PR exercise for Argentina’s Fascist military junta. Even as matches were taking place the regime was killing and torturing opponents and those they simply didn’t like the look of. 

Now, thanks to the efforts of Scottish writer David Forrest, The Diary has discovered that the suffering of the Argentinian junta’s victims was beautifully commemorated during the 1978 World Cup after all.

The National:

In an essay for the worldwide, long-form football writing collective In Bed With Maradona, Forrest discusses his lifelong obsession with discovering why there were black bands at the base of the tournament goalposts in 1978. 

Decades later Forrest found himself in Buenos Aires and became determined to uncover the secret. 

He was directed to an old groundsman called Ezequiel who had worked as part of the team preparing the World Cup stadiums. They were the ones who had applied the black paint to the goalposts. 

Forrest writes: “With no safe opportunity to help the country protest, a colleague of Ezequiel’s mooted the idea of helping the country mourn. 
They decided the goalposts would be the public bearer of the black armband instead.”

The full article is a brilliant read and can be accessed at inbedwithmaradona.com.

More Robbie, less Danny

IT was great to see the Russians’ no-nonsense approach to their opening ceremony. 

It lasted around 10 minutes and mainly featured Robbie Williams singing a wee medley of his hits and dancers with rubber footballs taped to their heads. 

The National:

It was a welcome antidote to Danny Boyle’s overblown and ridiculous opening ceremony for the 2012 London Olympics in which he portrayed a vision of Britain existing only in the vivid imagination of Jacob Rees-Mogg.