Mental health help we’re told to seek often isn’t there

The first was during my late teens and early 20s and co-incided with a time when – to put it mildly – everything was going wrong in my personal life.

Looking back, it was a bit of a chicken and egg situation – was I depressed because I was living in homeless accommodation or did the depression cause the series of events that meant that’s where I ended up?

When I came out the other side, I found a previously undiscovered gratitude for life and a sense of perspective about my experiences of it thus far.

The next time my brain felt a bit funny was immediately after my daughter’s birth. It was mercifully brief, just a few short weeks of feeling inexplicably sad, scared and anxious before something clicked and I was able to enjoy the newborn love bubble.

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Since then, I’ve been lucky in that the solidity of my mental health is something I can rely on. The creeping despair that characterised my early adulthood is a distant memory. But if those feelings ever did return, I would phone up my GP’s terrifyingly brusque receptionist and book an appointment at the earliest available opportunity.

We’re a lot better at talking about mental health these days. So much of the advice we hear centres on the idea that it’s important to talk, to reach out when you’re not feeling great, and ask for help when you need it.

If only it were that simple.

Mental health services have struggled for funding against the backdrop of Covid, funding pressures and the cost of living crisis. It’s all well and good telling people to ask for help but what happens when you do and you find the help you need isn’t available?

Poor mental health is a particular problem among men. More than 75% of people who died by suicide in Scotland in 2021 were male.

That is a horrifying statistic and one that requires a targeted response, particularly given the link between suicide and deprivation. Between 2017 and 2021, the suicide rate was more than three times higher in the most-deprived areas compared to the least-deprived.

For men struggling with their mental health, it’s not enough to simply tell them to open up about their feelings and seek support.

The infrastructure of that support has to be in place when they do.

While the problem isn’t as pronounced among women, recent ONS statistics show the suicide rate for women aged under 25 across the UK is increasing.

A recent YouGov survey commissioned by suicide prevention charity Calm, asked more than 2000 women about their experiences access mental health services. It found that women felt they were not taken seriously when speaking about their mental health concerns, including their experiences of panic attacks and depression.

One-fifth of the young women surveyed said they were told they were being “dramatic” when they sought help.

Ingrained stereotypes about how men and women should think, feel and behave have a negative impact when it comes to accessing medical treatment.

For men, there is pressure to be tough and stoic, regardless of what is going on in their personal or work lives. Is it any wonder that many men find it difficult to admit they are struggling when society has created this unrealistic expectation of the “right” way they should act?

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For women, the drama-queen stereotype is particularly prevalent when it comes to access to health treatment and medicine. Some studies have found that when it comes to acute pain, women have to wait longer to be prescribed suitable painkillers than men.

This probably shouldn’t be a surprise, given the stereotypical woman is a direct opposite of the stereotypical man – she is weak, sensitive and emotional. So if she’s in pain, she’s probably just exaggerating.

One-third of the women surveyed in the YouGov study were asked if they were “overthinking things” and 20% were asked if they were on their period.

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In response to the findings, Calm’s chief executive said: “Our research shows that even when they do speak up, young women’s feelings and symptoms are frequently dismissed and ignored – often disregarded as over-emotional, hormonal or attention-seeking.

“These damaging preconceptions are leaving young women unheard and unsupported and lives are at risk like never before.”

When you are experiencing a period of mental ill-health, talking about it is a good place to start.

Friends and family can be a lifeline for those who are struggling. They can provide the love and encouragement a person needs to take the next step in accessing treatment: whether that is medication or talking therapy.

But when somebody does take that next step – a step that can often feel like a giant leap into the unknown for the person affected – they deserve the certainty of a treatment pathway that is timely and accessible.