1 MY WORKING-CLASS UPBRINGING
I CAME from a working-class area, Byker, in Newcastle. It’s pretty run-down now. Back then it was a bustling place. People were living in back-to-back housing with outside toilets.
When you’re a kid it’s great. You’re surrounded by aunties and uncles, and friends. You don’t realise how difficult things are because your parents do their best to keep all the struggling from you.
Most people were working. A lot of men worked in the shipyards, my dad worked in construction.
2 MY FIRST SCHOOL TRIP TO THE THEATRE
I REMEMBER the first time a teacher took me to the theatre in Newcastle. I was about 13. She dragged all of us reluctant kids along, and we went to see Death Of A Salesman by Arthur Miller. I’d never been to the theatre before. It just absolutely blew me away.
I remember we got taken on stage to see the set. I was looking around, and I just thought: “Wow! This is not like the television, this is real and happening right in front of my eyes!”
The whole thing of watching something with a big audience was thrilling for me. Even to this day, when I go into a theatre, I always make sure that I have some time on the stage on my own in the dark.
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3 BEING A BRICKLAYER
WHEN I left school I hadn’t taken any exams. So, the options were working in a shipyard or a factory, or learning a trade. My dad was a joiner and, as soon as I left school, he said: “I’ve got you an interview for a job as a bricklayer.”
So, I got this job as an apprentice bricklayer. I’m glad now that I’ve got those skills, because I can lay a patio and stuff like that. But, back then, I hated it!
4 WORKING AS A TECHIE IN A THEATRE
THEN I got a job in the local theatre in the fly floors, bringing in set flats. That was my next chance to be back in the theatre. I also worked as a stagehand.
When I was there, they had an empty bistro next door. I’d been down to the Comedy Store in London to see a show, and I’d loved it. So, in 1989, I asked them if I could start a comedy club. They said: “Yeah, but we’re not paying you!”
5STARTING MY OWN COMEDY CLUB
SO, I got the phone numbers of Jo Brand (who was just starting off) and Jack Dee and I asked if they’d come and play my comedy club. They both said yeah, but they wanted 100 quid each. I was like: “How am I going to get 200 quid?”
I made some leaflets and I went round the universities. I charged £2.50 on the door. Because it was a restaurant, I couldn’t get a late licence as a club. I had to serve soup in a bun to get a licence.
The only reason I got started as a comedian is because Jo Brand and Jack Dee asked who was compering it. I’ve always been funny, I’ve made people laugh at work. So, I did it.
I got up and just started taking the piss out of the audience, and it got laughs.
6 GETTING STARTED IN SHOW BUSINESS
LATER on I got booked at the Comedy Store in London, and it went on from there. I did a few plays up in Edinburgh.
In the 90s, comedy clubs were quite adversarial places, with lots of hecklers. I was always very fast. I wouldn’t leave any space for anyone to get in with a heckle.
7 WATCHING ALAN DAVIES WORK A ROOM
THEN I watched Alan Davies (pictured) doing stand-up. There was something about his performance. I couldn’t put my finger on how he managed to be so in control of the room. Then I realised, it was the silences. He let the laughter die down, he let the room go silent, he’d go over and pick up a glass of water and drink it, and the room was silent.
8 STARRING IN I, DANIEL BLAKE
IN 2015, the theatre producer Guy Masterson sent me a text saying that Ken Loach was making a film in Newcastle and he was looking for a bloke my age. Ken offered me the part, but I never thought it would have the success it did.
The Scottish comedian Raymond Mearns says: “I’ve been in three films with Ken Loach, and I’ve never got anything out of it.” Then he goes: “And you do one, and you win the Palme d’Or and the Baftas and all that!”
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I learned on the job. Ken was a great teacher. He uses comedians because, he says, they’re really good communicators.
9 THE COMEDY OF KEVIN BRIDGES
I LOVE Kevin. He’s a multi-millionaire now, he sells out huge arenas, but he’s the same lad I first met years ago. He’s a really good guy.
The reason he’s so popular is that every single person in that arena looks at him and goes: “I wish he was my mate and I was having a pint with him.” He makes people feel like he’s speaking to every single person in the room. That’s the magic of stand-up comedy.
10 THE EDINBURGH FRINGE
YOU get all sorts here. I got handed a leaflet the other day for a Viking wrestling show. You’ve got John Bishop doing his stand-up show in one part of Edinburgh, and you’ve got people dressed up as Vikings wrestling somewhere else!
However, I do think that the diversity of the Fringe is in danger of being priced out. The Fringe has got so big now, people are getting greedy. The prices of accommodation, venues and everything else have gone up.
We think the Fringe will always be here, but that isn’t guaranteed.
Dave Johns: A Comic’s Tale, plays the Gilded Balloon Wine Bar, Edinburgh, until August 28:
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