Weekend television highlights

QUESTION TIME, BBC1, 8.30pm

AS soon as I finish writing this column I might lie down for a “disco nap”. I need to ensure I’m fresh and perky so I can stay up all night for the election coverage and write about it for all you dear readers. Who knows when the politics buffs will have a proper sleep again? The election rigmarole won’t end with a nice 6am declaration but will probably drag on into next week with squabblings, negotiations and deals being done. Likewise with the TV coverage which will keep going to match the politicians, which is why we have the weirdness of Question Time on a Friday.

It was edged out of its usual Thursday night slot by the election coverage, so it’s been bumped to Friday, but this is a good move as it allows for a dissection of the result, if we can call the patchy hung Parliament which we’ll surely have on Friday morning a “result”.

The panel haven’t yet been announced for this special edition. Perhaps they have to wait to see who’s brave enough, who’s game enough and, frankly, who’s still in a job, before they finalise the line-up.

WEEKEND ESCAPES WITH WARWICK DAVIS, STV, 8pm

HAVE you ever wanted to see a dwarf get excited about deep-fried bananas? Well, stop crying, because now’s your chance. Tonight’s episode in Warwick Davis’s travel series takes him to Scotland where he promises to learn all about “Scottish culture”. So what does that mean? Will he be reading some Walter Scott? Perhaps he’ll visit The National Gallery? Maybe he’ll go to the islands to practice a bit of crofting? No, he won’t do any of that because the best way to explore “Scottish culture” is to chuck some fruit in a deep fat fryer. Warwick visits a chip shop in Edinburgh and asks them to fry him some bananas and apples, then he stands in the street to gnaw on it, bewildered. Well, hooray for Scotland and its hot, crispy fruit.

He also meets Jack Dee and takes part in his Fringe show, and there are lots of scenes of Warwick’s short-statured family fighting their way through the leafleters, jugglers and various other irritants of Edinburgh in August. Then they move north for some bagpiping and caber-tossing. I genuinely think I watch this programme just to get annoyed.

Tomorrow (Saturday, May 9)

BBC YOUNG DANCER, 2015, BBC2, 7pm

MIGHT this be a televised talent show which is actually about talent? Placed on Saturday night TV, the time and space usually devoted to The Idiot Factor and Britain’s Got Idiots, this is a nice, proud two-fingers to the tiresome dross delivered by ITV in their interminable search for stars (and ratings).

This is the grand final of a quest to find Britain’s best young dancer, and by “dancer” they don’t mean someone kicking, ducking and jumping in a baggy tracksuit. Perhaps it sounds elitist, but this is “real” dance, the kind which requires years, dedication and some physical pain.

Hosted by Darcey Bussel and Zoe Ball, the final comes from Sadler’s Wells Theatre and showcases the six young finalists who’ve made it through the contest to the last stage. They’ll each perform a solo dance, plus a duet, and then something created specifically for them by a top choreographer before the judges deliver their verdicts.

The four styles of dance which are covered in the final are: ballet, hip-hop, contemporary and South Asian and the winner will be announced live at the end of the show.

THE WORLD’S MOST EXTREME, C4, 8pm

IF this series was on Channel 5 would you watch it? With such a grandiose title it seems to suggest silly, over-the-top stuff, perhaps lots of footage of crashes, explosions, storms and floods delivered with a screaming, fake Hollywood narration.

Yes, if this was on Channel 5 you might ignore it, or even actively avoid it. However, this is being brought to us by Channel 4, so is a bit cleverer and classier than its attention-seeking name suggests.

Each week the series looks at the “world’s most extreme” things, and so far we’ve had precarious bridges and treacherous railways.

This week takes us to terrifying rivers, and these waterways aren’t the kind you can fish in or perhaps spread a blanket beside whilst you enjoy a Ribena and a Scotch egg. They’re “extreme” and scary. The programme visits the massive Congo River where crazy people (or “daredevils” as they prefer to be called) attempt near-suicidal white-water rafting and they look at the rivers in the Antarctic where ships often become stuck in the ice.

COUNTRY AT THE BBC, BBC4, 10.45pm

IT’S a shame one cannot wear cowboy boots and be taken seriously. If you donned a pair and went clattering down Argyle Street, people would assume you were off to a fancy dress party. They certainly wouldn’t nod sagely and think, “that gal has style and is no doubt a lover of the deep, sad tones of country and western” – and that is a terrible pity.

There’s always something slightly comic about country music, even though it’s almost all about heartbreak and cheating, but maybe that combination of humour and misery is where its success lies; it doesn’t take itself too seriously and that’s what allows it to wade into the bleak depths whilst still twanging those catchy tunes.

This programme is something BBC4 excels at – though some might call it lazy, they raid the archives and put together a glorious collection of country music performances from across the years and it features all the greats, such as Dolly Parton (left), Tammy Wynette and Jonny Cash but also includes modern Country singers like kd lang and

Taylor Swift.

Sunday (May 10)

HUNTERS OF THE SOUTH SEAS, BBC2, 8pm

WILL Millard’s exploration of the Coral Triangle ends with his study of the Kula Ring, which is an ancient trade circle.

The people of these distant South Sea islands have been trading with one another for centuries, using decorative bracelets and necklaces as currency, but the modern world is battering its way into this old trading practice and dirty paper money is replacing the old jewellery.

Some of the islanders bemoan this development, saying their friends and relatives are now obsessed with hoarding money and a precious way of life is being lost.

But money is not the only thing hoarded on the islands. If you want to display your prosperity to your neighbours, you don’t buy a Rolex or a Porsche, but you build an elaborate hut, painted, scrolled and colourful, in which to store your yams. Having a yam field is the ultimate way of demonstrating you are a “man”, and so a fancy little hut in which to flaunt your yield is the best status symbol the islanders can have. But what will the new trading practices, and the invasion of paper money, do to these old traditions?

BRITISH ACADEMY TELEVISION AWARDS, BBC1, 8pm

IT must have cost the BBC an incredible amount of money when they poached Graham Norton from Channel 4 all those years ago, because they seem furiously determined to deploy him in almost everything they do.

I suppose they’re simply intent on getting their money’s worth. So here he is again, hosting the British Academy Television Awards live from the Theatre Royal in London.

If I had my way, every award would go to Marvellous and Happy Valley. Why bother wasting time with anything else? But they have two hours to fill so we must allow the others to have a bit of the limelight. But who are these shows sharing that limelight with because, incredibly, The Fall and Inside No 9 aren’t nominated for anything. How can this be? It’s utter madness, so I won’t be watching as I’m already too annoyed, just by typing this. It’s not all showbiz giddiness: amidst all the irritating luvvie celebrations Jon Snow will step forth to receive the Bafta Fellowship, recognising his 40 years in journalism.

MODERN TIMES: FOR RICHER, FOR POORER, BBC2, 10pm

DAVID Cameron likes us to launch our own businesses, not out of any genuine entrepreneurial spirit, but because if a jobless person starts up their own company then they can be erased from the unemployment figures.

It’s the same with tatty little zero-hours contracts: you might have a job offering you a wispy promise of 2.5 hours of work per week, but it’s still a job in the official sense of the word, so strike your name off the unemployment list and, oh, aren’t we doing well at getting Britain working!

This programme looks at some of the brave souls who’ve started their own businesses – half a million are launched each year in the UK – and, interestingly, focuses on those run by couples.

Any therapist can tell you it’s a bad idea to live and work together, so why have these people done it? Because they know and trust one another? If so, isn’t going into business the surest way to ruin a peaceful, trusting relationship?

We meet Barry and Vicky, both of whom used to be teachers but who’re now risking all in the furniture and baking business, while Steve and Sally have taken on a struggling deli in the pretty Cotswolds.

PERSPECTIVES, STV, 10.35pm

TERRY Jones never seems to get old; he still has the same cheeky, boyish face he had when running around in an apron and rollers for Monty Python, hitting people with his handbag.

In this episode, Jones pays tribute to his showbiz idol, Charlie Chaplin, and swaps his manic comic acting for an attempt at Chaplin’s silent, baffled look.

Some of us may regard Chaplin as old-fashioned or redundant, lost in the silence of black-and-white films, but Jones insists on showing the debt every comic actor owes to that great man, and he takes us through his life, beginning in the poverty of Victorian London to world stardom and astonishing wealth.

Alongside clips from his old films, Jones gets dressed up in tribute to Chaplin and makes an attempt at doing his famous waddling walk as well as standing on the streets reciting passages from his autobiography.

I’m more of a fan of Terry Jones than of Charlie Chaplin, but it’s good to see an artist enthuse about another and try and trace connections between both, across the years and across the genres.

THE ENFIELD HAUNTING, SKY LIVING, 9pm

DOES anyone ever pay attention to Sky Living? I don’t. In fact I didn’t even know I had it on my tangled collection of cable and online TV packages until this show started and prompted me to take note of its existence. So what a surprise it was to find this little gem hidden away on the channel. It’s a supernatural drama, set in dingy 1970s Britain, starring Timothy Spall, Juliet Stevenson and Matthew Macfadyen. This is the second episode of three, so there’s still time to catch up if you have the channel available.

It’s based on the supposed true events which happened in Enfield in the 70s where a suburban family, particularly the two young daughters, were being plagued by a poltergeist. Timothy Spall plays a psychic investigator called out to the family home to try and rid them of their violent spirit. In this episode, a medium is brought to the house which irritates Spall’s character, Maurice Gross, as he’s trying to get to the answer via scientific techniques and measurements.

This house ain’t big enough for two ghostbusters!