COMRADES, if there’s one thing I love, it’s freedom – and what a feel-good moment it must have been when Shaker Aamer, the last innocent British resident captive at Guantanamo Bay, was reunited with his family. Aamer had been captured and held without trial for fourteen years based upon unreliable allegations extracted during torture. While held at Guantanamo, Aamer says he suffered a multitude of horrors but, amazingly, the now free man does not want to take legal action against those who have mistreated him; Aamer’s only request is that people tell the truth about Guantanamo Bay and the actions of western intelligence services – a request Tony Blair has been eluding on his luxury yacht for years.

Unfortunately for Aamer, Tony Blair seems to believe that none of his decisions are wrong or morally questionable simply because he was the one who made them. He is innocent purely on the grounds of his own delusions. Aamer asserts that a British intelligence officer witnessed him being roughhoused, a fact that makes him convinced Blair, the Prime Minister at the time, knew of the horrifying tortures being utilised by his allies. Yet, Terrible Tony continues to saunter through the political world with impunity! In the same way comic book fans wonder why The Joker never goes to prison, the rest of the world wonders why Tony Blair never goes to The Hague!

Of course, Aamer’s nightmare might have been avoided, or at least shortened, had America shut down Guantanamo like Barack Obama promised to do so in 2009. Now, in fairness, I once thought Barack Obama was what Sexy Socialism was all about. Big government, big stage, mad hand gestures. “This dog knows the score,” I thought. That was until he opposed Scottish independence and advocated overseas military intervention. Needless to say, it didn’t take long for me to send my Barack Obama Fan Club badge back to Washington!

However, unlike Donald Trump, I try not to take a conspiratorial view of Obama. As a matter of fact, I have gained a measure of sympathy for Barack since some YouTubers began arguing that my birth certificate is fake and I’m actually from Liverpool. Nevertheless, I do get the impression that Obama, like all US leaders, is not really running the show. I felt the same way about George W Bush, who was no more running the White House than I was – Cheney and Rumsfeld were operating Georgy boy like he was a guest star on the Sooty Show!

As immoral as such political puppetry is, I believe a Donald Trump presidency could actually make me nostalgic for the Bush administration. The idea of a callous corporate mentality running politics has, until now, been a behind-the-scenes arrangement. However, The Donald looks set to make it a horrifying public showcase, and it’s no coincidence that right-wing Britain seems to mirror Trump’s cruel philosophies. Their ill-fated worldview is yet another reason why Donald is so against what an independent Scotland represents; a peaceful, generous society not conducive to paranoid, commercial greed-heads.

People like Trump only want to turn the screws until all the love in the world turns to money. Moreover, just how American are you if you oppose Scottish independence? I mean, do these people just celebrate the 4th of July for the irony? Trump is as far from real American values as you can get! I cannot see Abraham Lincoln, the man who freed the slaves, advocating waterboarding and indefinite detention without trial. Yet, these are exactly the horrors Trump wishes to inflict on potentially innocent men like Shaker Aamer. Hillary Clinton has said Trump is “no longer funny”, which gives the misleading impression that he ever was. That said, one anagram of ‘President Trump’ is ‘Trident Sperm Up’, which is as comical as it is terrifying – I do not want to live in a world where materialistic politicians copulate with nuclear weapons! An independent Scotland can and will show the world a better, sexier way to live!