Ross Miller picks out the worst five films of 2018...
5. Slender Man
One of the worst things a horror movie can be is dull and that’s the unforgivable crime committed by this derivative, out-of-date film based on the titular “creepypasta” internet meme that was already old news five years ago never mind in 2018. Blandly directed, hammily written, boringly acted and without a single effective scare in sight.
4. The Happytime Murders
Melissa McCarthy as Detective Connie Edwards and Phil Philips (voiced by Bill Barretta) in The Happytime Murders
Smug, painfully unfunny high-concept “comedy” that posits a world where humans and beloved Muppets coexist. That idea could have worked if it was, ya know, actually funny. But it basically boils down to showing puppets swear, drink, smoke and have sex, running that one-note joke into the ground before repeatedly jumping on its head. Awful.
3. Nativity Rocks!
Daniel Boys as Mr Johnson and Simon Lipkin as Jerry Poppy in Nativity Rocks!
It was the turn of a rock opera, for some reason, in the cringe-worthy fourth instalment in the festive franchise. It felt more than ever like when you have to sit through a whole school concert waiting for your young relatives to perform except that moment never comes. For the love of all that is holy, please stop making these. Kids deserve better.
2. Show Dogs
An embarrassingly bad canine caper about a talking dog who teams up with Will Arnett’s increasingly exasperated cop to solve a smuggling case. The bizarre premise is the least of its worries, however, with dead-on-arrival jokes that range from the old hat to highly inappropriate for its young target audience. Didn’t we stop making these kinds of movies long ago?
1. Death Wish
Bruce Willis as Paul Kersey in Death Wish
Director Eli Roth succumbed to his baser gratuitous instincts with this offensive, fatally ill-judged remake of the Charles Bronson classic. This was a bizarre mix of crassness and dull, pleased-with-itself graphicness that used the gun violence issue in America as an excuse to justify its gun-toting vigilantism. Comfortably the most hateful film I saw this year.
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