IT is all too easy to dismiss Brexiteers as right-wing buffoons. Although some of them are undoubtedly more to the right politically than a falangist carrying a bunch of fasces, and although some have numerous manias in their cohort, there are nevertheless plenty of Brexiteers who look and sound sane and reasonable.
That’s why, when it comes to judging people, it is always a good exercise to write down what they have actually said and then form a conclusion as to their policies, their personal character and intellectual ability.
Let’s start with Mark Francois MP, the new bovver boy of the Commons, and a Johnny-Come-Lately to the race to succeed Theresa May in Number 10 – no, seriously, he’s being tipped by people who should know better.
The Tory MP and vice-chairman of the European Research Group said this week “we will become a Trojan horse within the EU”, adding with menace: “If you now try to hold us in against our will you will be facing perfidious Albion on speed.”
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For a start, Greek mythology tells us that if you are going to gift a Trojan horse, it’s best you keep it a secret. As for “perfidious Albion on speed”, it’s unlikely that Francois – isn’t his very name a delicious irony? – will know that the term was first coined by the Marquis de Ximenes in a poem in 1793 to describe British treachery.
Let’s go back to being treacherous, says Francois. How very British. Or as former Brexit secretary, David Davis, put it: “Anyone who suggests that the United Kingdom cannot be trusted, and isn’t the proven friend of every single country in Europe, needs to brush up on their history.”
They wouldn’t want to do that, because if you go back far enough, at one time or other the UK has been at war with almost half of the countries in the EU. Still, at least Francois and Davis didn’t go to Eton. Boris Johnson did and clearly has some kind of a brain, but let’s just recall a few Borisisms.
The most quoted is his reply in June last year to those who said British businesses had concerns about Brexit. “F*** business,” said Boris, in a witty riposte which at least had the benefit of being short.
From his famous essay in The Telegraph: “Once we have settled our accounts, we will take back control of roughly £350m per week.”
Absolute poppycock and balderdash, as he might say himself. And it could yet land him in real trouble as Marcus Ball and his lawyers pursue their private prosecution of Johnson for misconduct in a public office over his Brexit lies.
Johnson is the man who really did write in the days after the referendum: “There will continue to be free trade, and access to the single market.” Or not, if his chances of becoming PM depend on it.
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There are, of course, none so blind as those who cannot or will not see. When DUP suprema and Brexiteer Arlene Foster, leader of a party which doesn’t represent the majority view on the EU in Northern Ireland, put forward her plan for “alternative arrangements” to the backstop she said: “There is no better time to advance this alternative, given the confusion and disarray which is now manifesting itself in Brussels. This has been displayed both by the contradictory EU statements and the panic-stricken behaviour of the Irish government.”
Honestly, she really said that, while her coalition partner in Downing Street was performing more twists and turns than a Cirque du Soleil acrobat.
Which brings us neatly to the prince of Brexiteers, Jacob Rees-Mogg, the Man Who Would Be King (but can’t because he is a Catholic).
He is famed for quoting history, saying the post-Chequers White Paper was “the greatest vassalage since King John paid homage to Phillip II at Le Goulet.” To which one can only reply: – “Eh?”
Rees-Mogg once roasted EU judges: “The requirement not to be rude about judges applies only to judges in this country. It does not apply to judges in the EU, so let me be rude about them. Let me indulge in the floccinaucinihilipilification of EU judges”. That long word means esteeming something to be worthless, in case you wondered.
The former Tory candidate for Central Fife – 1997 General Election, gained 3669 votes, half the previous Tory candidate’s total – once said: “Europe is the past and the future belongs to India and China.”
Or Bharata and Cathay as the honourable member for the 18th century might put it.
Being all good Christians, they might want to read this verse of the Old Testament, Job, ch15 v6: “Thine own mouth condemneth thee, and not I: yea, thine own lips testify against thee.”
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