THE UK will participate in the European elections this week. These are the elections that the Government didn’t want and didn’t prepare for. The only uncertainty about this vote is the extent to which the two main British parties are going to get a kicking. It’s shaping up to be a choice between an almighty kicking, a catastrophic kicking or an utter calamity of a kicking. It will be richly deserved.

Between the two of them, the main British parties have managed to destroy the UK’s international reputation. Britain currently enjoys a lower level of international respect than a stag party on a Ryanair flight.

The low international standing of the UK was perfectly illustrated by the last place achieved by the UK in last weekend’s Eurovision Song Contest, a performance which was as disappointing as Madonna’s. The difference between the UK and Madonna is that one of them is a hyped-up out-of-tune has-been whose glory days are a distant memory, and the other is a 1980s pop icon.

READ MORE: Nigel Farage says Scottish independence is 'most dishonest political discourse in the world'

Brexiters on social media were disgusted by the UK’s lamentable performance on Eurovision, angry that no-one likes the UK in a popularity contest when the UK has spent the last couple of years doing its best to antagonise the rest of the continent. Never mind, after Brexit we can take part in the WTOvision Song Contest and get null points from Mauritania.

Back in the tone-deaf world of British politics, the Conservatives are in acrimonious meltdown and are obsessed with a leadership contest that hasn’t been called yet. Having already decided to replace anything that might approach a vision for the UK’s future with nostalgia for the empire and sentimental jingoism, leadership contenders vie to outdo one another in meaningless platitudes designed to appeal to Daily Mail leader writers.

It’s all a desperate attempt to distract attention from the fact that no-one wants Theresa May’s deal, and the Tories are currently stuck with a prime minster who looms over HMS Brexit like an iceberg that refuses to believe in global warming. To no avail, the party is facing the very real possibility of a wipe-out on Thursday. Some opinion polls have the Conservatives languishing in single percentage figures for the European elections. The party is doing almost as poorly in polling for Westminster intentions. Its Leave voters are deserting it en masse for the snake oil of Nigel Farage while its Remainers have given up on it in despair.

The National:

Even Ruth Davidson has had to concede that no matter how many times she sticks “no to another independence referendum” on a leaflet, the vehicle for her personal ambitions is as roadworthy as a wheel-less old Lada that’s already been converted into a skip. She’s now leading a party which is increasingly likely to have Boris Johnson as its UK leader and prime minister despite Ruth and her Scottish Tory colleagues mounting a campaign called Operation Arse to stop him. Her shiny career as the golden girl of the Conservative Party is about to become as tarnished as her brass neck. Labour aren’t much better. They are so determined to keep facing both ways at once on Brexit that the party has broken its electoral neck. The result is that the voters are going to use these elections as an opportunity to slap both of Labour’s faces.

Lesley Laird – who is apparently the shadow Scottish secretary, although she has a lower public profile than the cousin of the husband of the woman whose work colleague once met someone from Gogglebox – put in an appearance on BBC Scotland’s Sunday Politics Show to articulate the party’s policy on Brexit. Labour don’t want a no-deal Brexit. They don’t want the current deal. They don’t want a second referendum. However, Labour do think that the deal needs to go back to the whole country for a vote. We’re so glad that Lesley has cleared that up for us.

The two main pillars of the British political system are cracking and collapsing. Meanwhile, Nigel Farage stalks the land like Dracula channelling a stockbroker pontificating in the golf club bar; right-wing extremism is on the rise; and the planet is on the verge of climate catastrophe.

READ MORE: Brexit Party's Scottish poster campaign thwarted by SNP councillor

Yet the British media in Scotland are obsessed with gossip about SNP MPs. So it’s SNPbad business as usual. After all, it’s important that we get our Caledonian priorities right. Know your place, Scotland.

The big winner in Scotland on Thursday is going to be the SNP. That’s unwelcome news to Scotland’s overwhelmingly anti-independence media. If you want to send a signal to Westminster that Scotland opposes Brexit, you need to vote SNP. All that anyone is going to notice in the aftermath of the vote is the number of seats achieved by pro-Remain parties, and that means that if you want Scotland to remain in the EU, then a vote for any other party is fundamentally a wasted vote.

However, if you want out of the EU but you want Scotland to be independent, you also need to vote SNP. Nigel Farage has attempted to court the support of pro-Leave independence supporters by hinting that he’d be open to a discussion about independence once he’s hoovered up votes and support.

But Nigel Farage has already made his views clear on Scottish independence. He thinks it’s motivated by anti-English racism. He thinks that the 2014 referendum settled the matter for decades to come. When Nigel Farage tells you he’s willing to talk about independence after he’s secured a victory, what he means is that he’s going to tell Scotland to shut up and get back into its shortbread tin. We’ve seen British politicians try that trick many times before. Don’t fall for it now.

READ MORE: Nicola Sturgeon warns of Farage-Johnson 'nightmare scenario' for Scotland

If you want out of the EU but believe in independence, the priority is first to establish the sovereignty of the Scottish people. That means voting first for independence parties and securing a referendum. The question of whether Scotland should be part of the EU or not is a question for the sovereign people of Scotland to decide once we have achieved independence. If you are happy to piggy-back on a Tory Brexit that only a minority in Scotland support, you’re undermining the claim to sovereignty of the people of Scotland.

On Thursday, the people of Scotland need to tell Westminster that we’ve had enough. We’ve had enough of being marginalised. We’ve had enough of being ignored. We’ve had enough of not being listened to. On Thursday, we can tell the Labour and Conservative parties that Scotland will make up its own mind and choose its own path in Europe.