A SCOTTISH Tory MP is attempting to fix Theresa May's final Prime Minister's Questions next week ... but his plan was revealed.
West Aberdeenshire and Kincardine MP Andrew Bowie is May's Parliamentary Private Secretary.
Knowing that Wednesday, July 24, would be his boss's last ever PMQs, he decided to reach out to his fellow Tory MPs with some less-than-subtle hinting.
Unfortunately for Bowie, his emailed was leaked by Sky News journalist Sam Coates.
In it, he says: "Dear colleague, as I'm sure you'll be aware, next Wednesday will be the Prime Minister's last PMQs in post.
"As any Prime Minister's final PMQs is more closely watched than 'ordinary' sessions, I am sure that colleagues will want to make the most of the opportunity to feature prominently. Accordingly, I have attached a blank table form for your convenience.
"We anticipate that the Speaker will attempt to accommodate as many colleagues as possible, so if you plan to 'bob' for a question on the day, please do let me know."
Let her off lightly!
— Sam Coates Sky (@SamCoatesSky) July 16, 2019
Leaked email urges Tory MPs to plan a fond farewell for Theresa May next Wednesday before she terminates her premiership hours later pic.twitter.com/knl6rYwGkc
A rough translation of that email for those who don't speak Tory is: "Let's give Theresa an easy time."
This means there won't be questions on how she has left her Precious Union in tatters.
This means there won't be questions on the scandals of Windrush and Grenfell.
This means there won't be questions on the disaster that is Universal Credit or her government's "rape clause".
As well as this blatant fix, we suspect they're hard at work upgrading May's software as we speak, making sure she can shed a few tears on the big day.
As the First Minister said, May's legacy will be Scottish independence, and no attempt to whitewash her record will change that.
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