WHA hisnae said some collection o the follaein: “A’m awfie bad fir haein this”, or “A’ll need tae stert that diet”, or “A’ll can earn this sweetie gin A dae sic-an-sic punishin activity”. Thon is fatphobia, an, freens, fatphobia kills.

Oor hail culture is fatphobic. It’s a cornerstane o capitalism fir tae mak fowk feel they’re wrang an then sell them sumhin tae sort it. Coorse, it cannae sort it. Januar is diet culture’s Yuletide – a money avalanche fir diet pills, clesses, an aw the rest.

But the business model o the diet industry lippens oan the participants aye failin an comin back fer mair. A few year syne thir wis a muckle stramash aboot an advert fir a wecht-loss pooder in the Lunnon Tube that read “Are you beach body ready?” The backlash wis immense. It wis sic a clear attempt tae fricht a vulnerable public – “See if you dinnae luik lik this airbrushed model, weil, it’s basically a rule that ye shuidnae een be oan a beach. Buy oor science dust!”

It wis haudan up as ridiculous. Spoofs o the original advert gaed up that hid tick boxes: beach – tick; body – tick; equals ready. Dinnae lat that money grabbin lot get ye doon – ye can rock yer curves oan onie beach! An then body positivity triumphed an diet culture wis nae mair.

Hahahaha! Ha. The hing is, it is absolutely no a case o beach – tick; body – tick; equals ready. Fat bodies oan a beach are liable tae face jidgement – silent or explict. The wey we interact wi bodies – oor ain an ither fowk’s – is no ane o radical acceptance. It’s no een neutrality. Wha dae you ken wha is entirely neutral taewards thir ain body? Deep in oor banes his bin laid doon an idea that, in the wards o Lydia Morrow, a Glesga makar, oor culture hairms us by sayin beauty is “the pinnacle of human achievement” an that thinness is central tae that.

Thinness is seen as a synonym fir health an aw. An here comes ae angle oan the deidly side o fatphobia. “Thinness = health” isnae juist an idea hauden by shilpit, blonde wimmen advocatin “clean eatin” an “cleanses”. “Fat = ill” is ingrained in the medical profession. It’s in that deep that fat fowk wha gae tae the doctor wi divers symptoms is telt tae come back whan they’ve lost wecht, irrespective o thir symptoms.

Cancers an infections is missed acause whan the person walks ower the door, the doctor jidges the fatness an supposes that’s the illness.

Naethin his rendert this mair clear tae me nor haein a bairn. Whan it’s appliet tae wee weans, it becomes clear as gless hoo oor culture is made up. Fir example, if it disnae maitter whether a babby is “beach body ready” then it shuidnae fir adults an aw. An yet, girl babies is mair likely tae be unnerfed than boy babies, acause mithers is feart they’ll get “fat”, an that is a fate warse than daith. It can een be an act o love – whan ma dochter growes up she’ll be gled she didnae luik fat in photies, een though she’s greetin wi hunger the noo. An thae mithers dinnae come up wi thon idea thir lane – the comments aroon “whit a chubby baby”, or “she’s so greedy” are common frae parents an strangers an aw.

Sae, we’re learnt frae oor mither’s airms that fat is bad. An people wi onie fat, frae the peeriest belly tae a high BMI shuid be jidged – by thirsels an ithers.

Fack, it’s seen as sic necessar that in summer 2019 whan Nike pit a plus-sized manequin in thir Lunnon store there wis an ootcry. This manequin wuid kill. If fowk see thirsels representit, they’ll hink it’s okay tae be that size. In ither wards, if they irnae livin wi cripplin shame at aw times, then we’re no daein richt as a society. Quite hoo they wir gonnae dae the recommendit exercise tae “loss the wecht” when they wurnae alloued tae be sellt exercise claes wisnae explored. Mibbe ye suid be gettin it frae yer hairdresser in a broon bag. Does madam want oniehing for the 5K she’s daein at the weekend?

But but but! Ishbel! Thir’s an obesity epidemic! Obesity cannae be normalised! Weil, in the wards o James Corden, “If making fun of fat people made them lose weight, there’d be no fat kids in school.” An makkin fun o yersel is juist as bad – wha’s listenin an learnin fat is shamefae an suid be hidden awa? Mind that anorexia nervosa is the maist deidly psychiatric disorder. An thon’s cultural – as mass media comes intae a culture, alang comes anorexia. Sae mibbe cut yer inner jidge, insteid o processed sugar.