SATIRE was found dead this afternoon when right-wing commentator Toby Young declared he was introducing a dating forum to his lockdown sceptics website.
Young has been extremely critical of measures taken to fight the global Covid-19 pandemic – and at the start of lockdown even said spending cash on saving elderly people’s lives is “irresponsible”.
Charming! With views like that you might be wondering how you can grab a cheeky date with him to hear more. Well – you might be out of luck there, but his new forum will let you meet plenty people with similar opinions.
Or it would have, if it hadn’t clearly been hijacked by users mocking Young and everything the site stands for.
READ MORE: Coronavirus: Fury over Toby Young's claims about elderly people
Young tweeted this afternoon: “We’ve introduced a dating forum at [Lockdown Sceptics], so singles who feel the same way about the virus can meet and not have to worry about differing attitudes to social distancing.”
Within two hours of the forum going live it was full of people seeking women open to spanking them with a cricket bat while dressed as Winston Churchill. (At least we hope these posts were fake – you never can tell with Covid-19-denying types).
Some of our favourites included the lovely John, who told users: “Beautiful English patriot lady who enjoys long walks around town, photography of me in Aldi, evening patrols on the beach. Must know every verse of God Save the Queen, how to correctly fold flag pillowcases. No wokeys, pulse optional.”
Then there was fellow sceptic George, who posted: “After a demoralising divorce I was, like many, reinvigorated by the Brexit movement only to let down by Boris in this mask debacle. Looking for albion-loving lady 35-50 who would be open to dressing up as Winston Chruchill and spanking me with a cricket bat while I sing 'Land of Hope and Glory'. No snowflakes need apply.”
There was also a user posing as Nigel Farage – who insisted that his date bring no masks or hand sanitiser. Just what you want on a first date, isn’t it – a nice big dose of Covid-19.
Perhaps the 10 days of self-isolating will be a great bonding experience for couples?
On social media the forum was absolutely torn to shreds. Some people suggested taking inspiration from coronavirus and dating app Tindr for the name “Spreadr”.
"A dating forum, managed by Toby Young." pic.twitter.com/qAXS8hdqIO
— Lazarus 🇪🇺 (@DJLazarus) August 9, 2020
One user commented: "I absolutely refuse to believe that Toby Young isn’t the most long running parody of a person of all time and that at some point he’s going to out himself.”
Others noted that the very concept was extremely Alan Partridge.
Artist Dan Hett noted: “I cannot even begin to comprehend the magnitude of sad sausagefest that this will generate.”
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