The 10 funniest TripAdvisor reviews for Scotland: From Ben Nevis to the Devil's Pulpit

10 – Loch Ness

The second-deepest loch in Scotland after Loch Morar, Loch Ness contains a larger volume of water than all the lakes in England and Wales combined.

The loch’s visibility is especially low due to a high peat content found in the soil surrounding it.

With its seemingly bottomless depth and murky water, it’s all the more difficult for tourists to spot Nessie – proving frustrating for some reviewers: “Unless your interest is swimming or that manufactured monster legend, then feel free to stop by in a parking lot and take 3 pictures of the lake, which are 2 more than the place is worth."

READ MORE: Give me the myth of a monster over hymns to empire and slavery any day

9 - Ben Nevis

Next up is Ben Nevis, the UK’s highest mountain. Towering 1345m above Fort William, the mountain offers spectacular views over the town and the Argyll and Bute coastline.

Affectionally nicknamed "Ben" by locals, one reviewer was disappointed to find there wasn’t a pub complete with flushing toilet at the top: “After going up Mount Snowden by train in Wales I’d forgotten just how high mountains can get.

"And they don’t come much higher than this one – that's for sure. My girlfriend was crying at one point. When we did get to the top there was nothing there (Mount Snowden has a pub, restaurant and toilets at its top).

“The climb basically went on for far too long … it was also cloudy at the top so the view was non-existent. “It was a great relief to get back to our B&B in Fort William for a hot soapy bath and the joys of a flushing toilet with soft toilet rolls.

“The attraction is free but I honestly couldn’t imagine anyone – and I mean anyone – paying to climb this.”

8 – The Devil's Pulpit

The Devil’s Pulpit is a steep rocky gorge carved into layers of red sandstone. Used as a location in the Starz hit series, Outlander, this gorge has since seen many visitors eager to replicate the scene in which Graham McTavish and Catriona Balfe sample some of the clear, cold water.

One user insisted if the scene from “Highlander” was replicated today, the stars would be paying for it later: “The scene from Highlander repeated today would have resulted in gastroenteritis, saw two teenagers dropping jobbies and heaps of rubbish, another family having a domestic very sad access should be stopped.”

Another issued a warning that although the Devil’s Pulpit may have gone viral on social media, the short, edited videos can hide all manner of sins: “What a terrible trip. If you’re forced to go here by your girlfriend because she saw it on Tik Tok then refuse.

“Then when you finally find where you’re going you’ve got to hold a manky rope so you don’t fall down the steep and slippery steps to get down to the waterfalls, which weren’t even that impressive.”

He added: “Would I recommend this trip after COVID? I’d rather a day trip to Chernobyl.”

READ MORE: Finnich Glen to be made safer with £2.7 million revamp

7 - Robert the Bruce Statue

“It's a statue. Of Robert the Bruce. I am not sure how something like this could be either excellent or terrible. I mean, it is just a statue, of Robert the Bruce, in the middle of Stirling.”

The sun sets behind the statue of Robert the Bruce on his war horse at the Battle of Bannockburn site near Stirling. Photographer: Jane Barlow

6 - Doune Castle

Doune Castle is a medieval stronghold located in Stirling. The location is no stranger to the big screen, used over the years as a set for Winterfell in Game of Thrones’ first season as well as in Outlander, Outlaw King, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

One reviewer was annoyed to find that although roofless, the castle still wouldn’t accept furry friends inside the castle walls: “Seeing as the majority of the castle has no roof, it’s a bit rich not to let (well behaved) dogs (on a lead) inside the walls. Still, at least the screaming kids ahead of us were allowed in. Sanity prevails. Not.”

5 - Loch Lomond

One reviewer couldn’t quite get to grips with how TripAdvisor’s rating system worked: “Great day, (symbol says terrible but I couldn’t change it)”.

4 - Rob Roy’s Cave

One user thought that Rob Roy’s Cave tour was a bit of a “non-starter”: “It was terrible, how to turn a 45 minute boat ride into 2 hours of soullessness is a gift and to charge £15.00 per person is a rip off worthy of the old red-headed thief himself.

“You get to visit a rock face that rob Roy supposedly chucked his enemies off into the water, and then they showed you a rock face with the word 'CAVE' painted on it just in case you missed it?

“This was quite ridiculous and not up to the description of the tour offered, these places could have been any old bits of stone to be honest.”

“The loch in itself was scenic but the rob Roy experience is a non-starter and needs a serious revamp or a more ingenious dialogue to capture the imagination as in 'sex' up the tour."

3 - Stirling Castle

Stirling castle dates back to the 15th and 16th century, but one reviewer thought that the medieval stronghold was a bit tacky: “We were very disappointed with Stirling Castle.

"The inside looks like a theatre set, it’s very bland and has been cheaply painted to make it look authentic. But actually it just looks like you’re at the theatre and there isn’t really much to see."

One reviewer claims they were almost poisoned in a scathing review entitled, "Poison the Sassernacks”: “My wife and I visited this cafe after an enjoyable tour of the Castle. We both had a brew and invested £5 in a ham and cheese roll to share.

“If the advertised ingredients had been the complete article, it would have been superb? There were three hidden ingredients I absolutely hated and led to half the sandwich being discarded! There was garlic in the butter, mayonnaise and mustard, all of which I find distasteful.”

2 - The Old Town Jail in Stirling

One reviewer found the jail’s escape room experience far too easy: “Having done multiple escape rooms I can safely say this was the worst. This was down to the person tasked with ‘observing’ our team.

“Clue, clue, clue, it was relentless. He had the cheek to congratulate us on finishing it in such a quick time.

"You'd think with a team of 7 we'd all get an opportunity to come up with some form of worthy contribution. Nope! Mr Man in the corner has got that covered. No need for us to use our tiny inferior brains.

“Shame the guy was so desperate to clock off and get to one of the lovely wee pubs Stirling has to offer. I think a night in the cells would have been more fun than this game.”

1 - Greyfriar’s Bobby

“Edinburgh has world class museums and theatres. There is so much to see and do, and the one thing that everyone has heard of is a two-foot-high statue of a dog. Sad.”

The metal statue was erected opposite Greyfriars Churdyard in the late 19th century, and it's since became tradition to touch the statue’s nose to bring good luck.

The constant rubbing has exposed the brass underneath – but the council gave up repairing the statue years ago because it was allegedly costing £400 just to retouch his nose.

One user was particularly worried about the statue’s health: “Apparently Bobby is getting smaller because of all the tourists rubbing the dog's nose and butt; there's even a ‘Save Bobby campaign’."

Efforts to find such a campaign were unsuccessful.

TripAdvisor chief executive Stephen Kaufer commented on the one-billion-review mark: “We are so grateful for the contributions that the TripAdvisor community has made over these last 22 years.

“Trusted reviews and opinions from travelers are the heart and soul of the platform and help make everyone a better traveler, enabling millions of businesses to flourish and drive trillions of dollars in economic value across the globe.”