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EXCITED for the coronation? No, us neither.
But you’d think someone would be. Anyone…
It appears not. Even the owners of multi-million-pound supermarket chains – who stand to make a killing off the back-to-back bank holidays coming up.
Public relations workers are being kept incredibly busy in the run-up to Charlie’s big day, sending out press releases on everything from an entire street in England being gifted air friers to a life-sized bust of the King being made out of 17 litres of melted Celebrations (below).
So far, it seems to be making very little impression. And we know that Scots in particular are uniquely not bothered about the coronation.
Shop managers in Glasgow city centre are playing it safe – could you blame them? – or they just can’t be bothered.
Tesco has put the most effort in, hanging cardboard fanfare trumpets and crowns above the aisles.
Among displays of ice lollies and booze – but strangely not cakes and crisps – are signs telling you it’s “all you need for a royally good celebration”. A small stand offers Union Jack hats, bunting and napkins for your very own street party – of which there are still vanishingly few registered to take place in Scotland.
Meanwhile, Sainsbury’s seems to have rebranded the entire occasion as the “Great British Bank Holiday”.
Other than some sad Union flag bunting over the self-checkouts and a small stand selling slightly eerie masks of Charles’s face, the store feels more or less unbothered about the whole shebang.
Marks and Spencer food at Queen Street station puts in perhaps the most low-key effort, resigning coronation merch to one single column of specially made biscuit tins (in your choice of regal purple or white).
All in, not even the shops are bothered about the coronation here in Glasgow …
If you’ve got a different experience, please send me your most obnoxious examples of coronation mania and we’ll take a look at them for a future newsletter: Hamish.morrison@thenational.scot
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