What links a Scottish aristocratic family with a fully naked man on their coat of arms, former deputy prime minister Nick Clegg and the one-time boss of Autoglass (of irritating jingle fame)?

That’s right, they are all donors to this year’s intake of Scottish MPs.

The recently published register of members’ financial interests provides a fascinating insight into the money which greases the wheels of our political machine.

Hungry hacks pick over its contents every time it is published, looking for dodgy donors like a pack of vultures hunting for scraps of meat.

At the start of a parliamentary term it is positively stacked with cash because of the amount of money sloshing around from the election.

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Some highlights from this year include a donation to Edinburgh West MP Christine Jardine from former LibDem leader Clegg. He gave just £4000 for her re-election campaign.

This from a man who it’s believed has a base salary of £2.7 million from his job at Meta, Facebook’s parent firm, and who in 2023 reportedly cashed in £5.5m in company shares.

Elsewhere, we learn that the new Glenrothes MP Richard Baker rents out four flats in Edinburgh, fairly putting to shame Imogen Walker, the MP for Hamilton and Clyde Valley, who only has two. Still, nice money if you can get it.

As for the mad barons, Gordon Dalyell, son of the late former West Lothian MP Tam (famous for his question) has been splashing a little cash.

The Edinburgh lawyer, and 18th baronet of the Dalyells of the Binns, spent £5150 on getting Graeme Downie and Ian Murray elected.

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Why single him out? Well you can only imagine your correspondent’s shock when I googled the Dalyells of the Binns and found that their family crest features, in the words of Court of the Lord Lyon, a “naked man his arms extended au naturel”.

Some mischievous sort has recreated the crest and ran with the “naked” part of the instructions. Look it up for yourself – we can’t print it in a family newspaper.

A surprising amount of the new intake of Scottish MPs have holiday homes in Spain: Kenneth Stevenson, Kirsteen Sullivan and Alison Taylor.

And finally, Labour megadonor Gary Lubner, who founded the parent company of Autoglass, isn’t just stuffing the coffers of the party high heid yins down south – though he is that, with generous donations to Rachel Reeves, Yvette Cooper and David Lammy.

His charity also extends to up-and-comers in Scottish Labour, gifting a total of £101,250 between eight MPs north of the Border.

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