Singing alongside fellow veterans has struck a chord with former RAF gunner Gary, who credits Help for Heroes’ choir for giving him his life back.

Gary’s mental health plummeted when his 31-year military career ended following open heart surgery. He was medically discharged, which led to him feeling isolated and abandoned.

“It felt like my friends and comrades disappeared overnight. I lost my self-esteem and sense of purpose. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I had bills to pay, and a wife and son to look after.

“The impact of what I saw and did during my time in service hit me like a freight train. I felt useless and like I was letting people down,” said Gary, who completed tours in Iraq, Northern Ireland and Belize. 

In 2018, Gary’s mental health hit rock bottom, and he drove to a suicide spot planning to take his own life.  

A turning point for Gary came when he joined Help for Heroes’ renowned choirA turning point for Gary came when he joined Help for Heroes’ renowned choir (Image: Help for Heroes) “I knew I had to do something, so I phoned a friend I had offended to say sorry. That friend said they had reached out to Help for Heroes. So I did too, and everything from there just happened so fast for the better,” he explained.

As World Mental Health Day approaches on October 10, the UK’s leading military charity is encouraging people to reach out for support. They are there for veterans, and their families, from any branch of the UK military, no matter when or where they served.  

Help for Heroes provided Gary with specialist counselling and carefully tailored support. It helped him work through long-standing mental health problems, including severe clinical depression, anxiety disorder and psychosis.  

The charity also helped him with his physical health and financial situation. It supported his family, which was struggling with the sudden changes to their lives and their concerns for Gary’s health. 

When Gary mentioned he’d like to attend university, his Help for Heroes case manager helped make that happen. He now has a 2:1 honours degree in business development from Staffordshire University.

A real turning point for Gary came when he joined Help for Heroes’ renowned choir.

“The choir for me is another family. It gives me courage and strength and helps me connect with others,” he said.

“It’s been my lifeline. At my first session we sang Flesh and Blood, but I couldn’t finish the song. I was in pieces. 

 “Everyone in the choir knows the struggles of being a veteran, but by coming together and singing we support each other – it’s a safe space.  I’ve found friends for life.  

“The choir gives you a voice. Since joining, I’ve started to dress better, and I feel I have a purpose again. It feels so good to be part of a community that understands.

“I’ve had some fantastic opportunities, including singing with rock star Bon Jovi and performing in the Royal Albert Hall for the Great War Symphony.” 

Help for Heroes also supported Gary when his son was admitted to hospital for mental health treatment.

Gary added: “The charity is always there. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t plugged in for a while. If you need to talk, they’re always available to provide support in a way that’s tailored to you. This charity has saved my life.” 

Join Help for Heroes in their mission to support veterans and their families. Make sure no one fights the Veterans War alone.

Find out more at helpforheroes.org.uk