BREAKFAST of champions? For millionaire PM wannabe Rishi Sunak, it’s the humble Twix and can of Sprite – don’t say he’s not an everyman.
Keen to get the campaign journalists on side, what better than to send them his very own recipe for success, with a free bottle of branded ‘Ready for Rishi, ready for sunshine’ suncream thrown in.
Team Rishi brought the lobby a little care package for the road. Can of pop, finger of twix and branded factor 30. pic.twitter.com/Z4JvYS20Hb
— Mikey Smith (@mikeysmith) July 21, 2022
But alas, cost of living is biting after all, so this time the Sunday Times Rich List former Chancellor has had to downgrade to (gasp) a SINGLE Twix and a miniature can of Sprite – perhaps hoarded from first-class flights to America?
READ MORE: Out-of-touch Rishi Sunak revealed in 'working-class' gaffe clip
Look, he's not MADE of money, it's only a few mill in the bank and with inflation, a double Twix is up to 90p in Waitrose, where the Jouker is sure Sunak's family frequents.
When that very short-lived sugar rush subsides, the lucky people following Sunak around the country (rumour has it he fancies a trip to Scotland, with Darlington first on his list…) can lather themselves in factor 30 suncream, which provides "guaranteed protection against Labour".
As a man of the people, the bookies' second favourite for Bojo’s replacement – out of two candidates, ahem – even wrote a note to go alongside the GENEROUS gifts, with some ever witty observations.
"Looking forward to seeing you on the road", wrote Rishi, chewing thoughtfully on the end of his Hermes fountain pen the Jouker imagines.
“Just a little something to make sure you protect yourself in this hot weather. After all, we wouldn’t want anyone going red.” Enter guffaws as he signs off with a flourish.
Unfortunately, despite his title as fizzy drink maestro (Rishi loves COKE, er, um, Coca Cola), it seems that it will take more than a shared interest in pop to get the people on side as social media users slate the “cheapskate” offerings.
One critic wrote: “Guy's a zillionaire & they get a mini twix. Cheapskate.”
Single twix and a 150ml can. Complete Tory behaviour that https://t.co/MmuG0nUwpT
— James (@_JamesVickers) July 21, 2022
Another wrote: "Rishi Sunak voted not to feed vulnerable kids during a pandemic but he'll hand out snacks for a laugh during his leadership campaign"
Rishi Sunak voted not to feed vulnerable kids during a pandemic but he'll hand out snacks for a laugh during his leadership campaign https://t.co/EXr5Jzo1ua
— Toby Earle 🇺🇦 (@TobyonTV) July 21, 2022
I see the Tory’s school meals to feed starving children are making the rounds again https://t.co/Cb1IBzKYO4
— Alex Johnson (@_AlexJohnson95) July 21, 2022
Touche. And with Sunak keen to run the economy like Thatcher, under whom child poverty DOUBLED, it looks like there won’t be any Sprite, Twix and sun cream payouts to the general public anytime soon.
Why are you making commenting on The National only available to subscribers?
We know there are thousands of National readers who want to debate, argue and go back and forth in the comments section of our stories. We’ve got the most informed readers in Scotland, asking each other the big questions about the future of our country.
Unfortunately, though, these important debates are being spoiled by a vocal minority of trolls who aren’t really interested in the issues, try to derail the conversations, register under fake names, and post vile abuse.
So that’s why we’ve decided to make the ability to comment only available to our paying subscribers. That way, all the trolls who post abuse on our website will have to pay if they want to join the debate – and risk a permanent ban from the account that they subscribe with.
The conversation will go back to what it should be about – people who care passionately about the issues, but disagree constructively on what we should do about them. Let’s get that debate started!
Callum Baird, Editor of The National
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel