The National:

A TALKTV host has paid homage through gritted teeth to Scotland’s water system as hosepipe bans spring up across England.

Mike Graham and journalist Ross Clark were discussing the state of England’s water supply on TalkTV while comparing their situation with the one in Scotland.

One might be apprehensive listening to Graham talk about Scotland after he said Nicola Sturgeon would enact a lockdown where only people who would vote for independence would be allowed out.

But now, despite his withering approach to Scotland, he is looking north for an example of how to properly implement an essential public service.

Currently, a number of local English water suppliers have had to implement hosepipe bans, prompting some commentators to call for a rethink of how water is distributed south of the Border.

And Graham, compelled to compliment Scotland’s “efficient” and “cheaper” system, couldn’t miss an opportunity to throw a barb our way.

He said: “They don’t get many things right up in Scotland, but in Scotland the system seems a lot better. It’s a properly nationalised system, you pay for your water through your council tax …

“It’s a lot more efficient, it’s a lot cheaper and it doesn’t have quite so many problems.”

It seems fitting that following the broad and baseless claim that Scotland, as a country, doesn’t get “many things right”, he gives a detailed and specific example of us executing a well-thought-out scheme.

Behold, cognitive dissonance.

READ MORE: Rishi Sunak heads to Darlington, Scotland - here's three places to visit on the trip

But, of course, it would be impossible for English media to say anything positive about Scotland without making it backhanded, lest they lose the thread of narrative they have employed since time immemorial.

Scottish tap water is a much-loved symbol of national pride. Most Scots will tell you they thirst for a glass of council juice after being away, but it’s ridiculous to suggest that is the limit of our success.

Not that they would care either way.