Alex Salmond's death really is devastating for me and many Scots

Those were the first words that jumped into my mind when I was called and told that Alex Salmond had passed away. His death really is devastating for me and for many Scots and other people around the world who knew him, but at least his restless soul has peace.

I am well aware that not everyone was a fan of Alex, but I would ask his opponents and enemies to at least accept that he was a giant of a politician, unique in Scotland’s history.

READ MORE: Tributes pour in for former first minister Alex Salmond

Yes he had his flaws, but without him there would have been no electable SNP, no surge towards independence, and no referendum in 2014. He changed Scotland and I would say for the better. Over the course of 47 years in journalism, I have learned to deal with the shock of losing friends and colleagues and public figures that I knew, but I have never been as shocked as I was when I was told of the death of this man who I considered a friend, a man who I deeply admired and respected, and yes, who I loved.

I will write a full factual obituary tomorrow but this evening I just want to pen a few words of appreciation I was deeply shocked but not massively surprised.

He had health problems yet still carried out a punishing schedule of work and while the cause of his death is not known, it seems probable that his great heart just gave out.

My first thought was for his wife Moira who is now dealing with the loss of a man who was 18 years her junior. He always said she was the rock in his life, and I am not revealing too much when I say that over the 40 years of their marriage, they shared a great passion for Scotland and in particular for the history of this country, with Alex and Moira being truly knowledgeable about the subject.

Neil Smith (left, Chairman of Scotland Forward), Alex Salmond (SNP leader), Donald Dewar (Scottish Secretary) and Menzies Campbell in Edinburgh today (Tuesday) for the launch of the YES campaign devolution countdown (Image: Archive)

He once told me that if the people of Scotland really knew their history, they would have no qualms about voting for the regaining of our independence – he was always precise about that, regaining rather than winning independence for the first time.

Although I first met him in the early 1980s when the 79 Group came to prominence, it wasn’t until the following decade that we bonded, not over politics but rather the horses. He became a racing columnist, a job I was also doing at the time.

After he wrote about a racing subject and I had to entirely rewrite my column, we agreed to speak regularly so that clash didn’t happen again. Our regular chats soon moved beyond the cuddies, and I found him affable, charming and intellectually streets ahead of almost every other politician I knew. His great good humour was also constant.

READ MORE: Nicola Sturgeon pays tribute to Alex Salmond

I’ll never forget how grateful he was when I was able to arrange tickets for him and his father to attend a meeting at Musselburgh. Nor will I forget the time when he came to the Ayr Gold Cup and I broke my golden rule – I got a picture taken of me with Alex and Frankie Dettori.

We developed a friendship and when I joined the SNP in 2001 he encouraged me so that I became convener of the Edinburgh East constituency. His leadership of the party and the achievement of the miracle of winning outright control of the Holyrood Parliament in 2011 was almost magical. And never forget that as the real leader of the Yes campaign in 2014, he took the vote for independence from less than 30% to the eventual 45% despite the almost unanimous press and media bias against him and the Yes cause.

In time people will look back and see how great he was in coming so close to attaining his dream

After he stood down as leader, I watched in horror at the way the party developed and while the cause of independence is still worth fighting for, I believe the SNP needs to utterly fix itself if it wants to lead the campaign.

Alex Salmond speaks at a rally for Scottish Independence in Princes Street Gardens, Edinburgh, as thousands of people took to the streets of Edinburgh in one of the largest pro-independence marches the city has seen (Image: Archive)

Frankly without Alex, the cause is denuded of its most persuasive voice which is another reason why I am in despair right now. I broke another rule at the worst time of his life when he was facing prosecution for alleged sexual offences. I stepped back into my old role of crisis p.r. and was able to help him deal with the extraordinary press and media attention.

I’ll never forget sitting in his lawyer’s home. He looked shattered but unlike so many other men facing such a situation, he visibly regained his composure and decided to come out fighting.

He told me then what I know to be true: “I am no saint,” he said, “but I am not guilty of what I have been accused of.”

And so it proved when he was acquitted on all of the charges. Believe me, if the Scottish people knew who were all involved and what it was all really about, there would have been much more sympathy and support for Alex. Now the court case he was planning will not happen, and there will be some very relieved people out there just now.

READ MORE: Alex Salmond pictured in his political career over the years

As I write this, I am just about holding back the tears. I just want to remember my friend, the man who was such an inspiration to me and so very kind – when I told him I had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease, he was there to listen and advise me. I’ll never forget that.

In our last conversation three weeks ago, I told him that my partner and I were going on a cruise and would be calling in at Istanbul. Typical of Alex, who knew Turkey well, he immediately recommended a restaurant in that great city, adding: “They’ve got the best beef stroganoff in the world.”

Now we all have to live in a world without Alex Salmond, and it will be less colourful, less interesting and certainly a sadder place.