WHEN Scotland were painfully knocked out of the Euros against Hungary, I was watching on a big screen in a Glasgow bar with Scottish friends and family standing behind me.
When that goal from Kevin Csoboth went in, I couldn’t face turning to look at them. I felt the heartbreak of the rug being swept sharply from underneath the feet of the incredibly devoted Tartan Army. I felt in the pit of my stomach that collective fall from the lofty mountain of hope.
Principally, I am an England fan and have been all my life. I’ve lived in Scotland for more than seven years now, but I was born in Shrewsbury to English parents, raised in South Cheshire and studied in Lancashire. England is in my blood and I desperately want Gareth Southgate’s men to lift the trophy tonight.
But having been stood in that bar on the night the brief Euros journey ended for Steve Clarke’s team and realising how much it would have meant for the nation to just have a few more days basking in pride and joy, I understand how horrendously irritating it must’ve been these last few weeks to have had to endure the English media.
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To see the way Southgate’s team were ripped apart in the early stages by bitter pundits who never got close to tasting international success themselves was infuriating. Not to mention the fans who thought the manager - who has led the nation to their greatest spell of footballing success for decades - deserved to have beer cups thrown at him. A reminder that England had done what they set out to do by winning their group at this point.
The reaction and ridiculous rants must’ve seemed utterly mindblowing to Scots, who I know full well would’ve given just about anything to be where England are now.
At points during the Euros, I actually think that expectation from the English media – which is understandable to a degree given the level of talent in the team – has spilled over into a sense of entitlement. As Alan Shearer (below) tore into the team’s performance against Denmark live on air, mid-match, it wasn’t normal criticism. It was distinctly uncomfortable to listen to and had an air of "how dare you do this to us" about it. I felt like some ex-players actually wanted them to fail, just so they could berate them afterwards like they were berated themselves. They should know better. No-one in sport, whether you’ve won trophies or not, is entitled to a fairytale.
And now here they all are, revelling in England’s dramatic run through the knockouts like nothing ever happened. It is a volatile and shameful cycle of cringeworthy commentary and I, like many of you, struggle to swallow it at times, especially knowing full well how Scots feel hearing and seeing it.
No matter where we’re from, I believe we should all get behind our respective countries at sporting occasions and make the most of moments of triumph because they are fleeting. Scots understand that and embrace it. Meanwhile, the English so often torture themselves and everyone else with constant delusions of grandeur.
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So all of that said, I will be a happy woman if England win tonight, and I’ll be pouring a wee dram if it happens, but I know many of you will be fearing the sickening barrage of celebration that is likely to come your way if that happens.
Even after a moment of indulgence in being delighted for my country, it’ll be on my mind too. As historic as an England victory would be, the last thing I want to see is it shoved down the throats of a neighbouring nation who quite frankly couldn’t care less and simply wish to get on with their lives.
So if that moment does arrive tonight, please know that on day four of Keir Starmer inevitably using it for quips at every opportunity, I’ll be looking through my fingers at it all just as much as you.
I’m in your corner. I get it.
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